The Hilarious Misadventures of a Water-Drinking Partygoer

What is your favorite drink?

I have a confession to make: my favorite drink is water. Yes, that’s right, good old H2O. But before you roll your eyes and click away, let me tell you a story about how my love for water has led to some pretty hilarious situations.

It all started in college, when I was trying to impress a cute girl in my chemistry class. We were at a party, and I offered to make her a drink. She asked for a vodka cranberry, and I confidently strutted over to the makeshift bar to whip one up.

Photo by Michal Lizuch

Except, I had no idea how to make a vodka cranberry. I didn’t even know what cranberry juice looked like. So I did what any sane person would do – I poured a shot of vodka into a cup, and then filled the rest with water.

I handed her the drink, feeling pretty proud of myself. But as she took a sip, her face twisted up in confusion. “What is this?” she asked. “It tastes like water with a subtle hint of rubbing alcohol,” she said, trying to be polite but failing to hide the disappointment on her face.

Turns out, my secret ingredient wasn’t so secret after all. And thus began my reputation as the guy who can’t make a proper drink.

But I didn’t let that stop me. Over the years, I’ve tried my hand at making all sorts of cocktails, from margaritas to martinis. And every single time, I’ve managed to mess it up.

There was the time I accidentally used salt instead of sugar in a margarita. Or the time I forgot to put ice in a gin and tonic, so it tasted like warm tonic water. And let’s not forget the time I mixed up the whiskey and the tequila, resulting in a disastrous concoction that I can only describe as “firewater.”

But through it all, I’ve remained loyal to my favorite drink – water. And as it turns out, there are plenty of hilarious moments that come with being the only sober person at a party. From watching my friends stumble around and slur their words, to becoming the designated driver and navigating a car full of rowdy drunks, I’ve had my fair share of laughs.

So, if you ever find yourself at a party with me, don’t ask me to make you a drink. But feel free to grab a glass of water and join me for a night of hilarity and good times. Because when it comes down to it, the best drink of all is the one that keeps you hydrated and laughing all night long.






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