“Come as You Are” by Emily Nagoski is a groundbreaking book that explores the latest scientific research on human sexuality and how it can transform our sex lives. Nagoski, a sex educator and researcher, draws on her extensive knowledge and experience to provide readers with a comprehensive guide to understanding and improving their sexual well-being.
At the heart of “Come as You Are” is the idea that everyone’s sexuality is unique and complex. Nagoski explains that our sexual response is influenced by a variety of factors, including our biological makeup, our past experiences, and our current environment. By understanding these factors and how they interact with one another, we can gain insight into our own sexual desires and preferences.
One of the most compelling aspects of “Come as You Are” is Nagoski’s emphasis on the importance of self-compassion and acceptance. She encourages readers to embrace their own sexuality and to let go of shame and guilt. Through a series of practical exercises and worksheets, Nagoski helps readers develop a more positive and healthy relationship with their own bodies and desires.
Another key theme of “Come as You Are” is the role of communication in sexual relationships. Nagoski stresses the importance of open and honest communication with partners, and provides readers with strategies for improving communication and intimacy. She also addresses common issues that can arise in sexual relationships, such as differing levels of desire and mismatched sexual preferences.
Overall, “Come as You Are” is a must-read for anyone looking to improve their sexual well-being. Nagoski’s engaging writing style, combined with her extensive knowledge and experience, make this book both informative and accessible. Whether you’re looking to explore your own sexuality, improve communication with a partner, or simply gain a deeper understanding of human sexuality, “Come as You Are” is an essential read.
Emily Nagoski is a sex educator, writer, and researcher with a PhD in Health Behavior from Indiana University. She has spent over a decade studying the science of sex and human sexuality, and is well-known for her work promoting sex positivity, body positivity, and healthy sexual relationships. In addition to her writing, Nagoski is a sought-after speaker and has given talks and workshops on sexual health and wellness across the United States.
Aside from “Come as You Are,” Nagoski has also written another popular book on sexual wellness called “Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle,” which she co-wrote with her twin sister, Amelia Nagoski. “Burnout” is a self-help book that explores the causes and effects of stress, and offers practical strategies for managing stress and preventing burnout. The book has received widespread critical acclaim for its engaging writing and evidence-based advice.
Nagoski has also written extensively on sexual wellness and sex education, and has contributed to numerous books, articles, and academic journals on the topic. Her work has been featured in The New York Times, The Guardian, and The Atlantic, among other publications. Nagoski is widely regarded as a leading voice in the field of sexual wellness, and her work has helped to promote greater awareness and understanding of human sexuality.
Emily Nagoski’s philosophy behind writing “Come as You Are” is to provide readers with a comprehensive understanding of human sexuality, and to empower them with the knowledge and tools they need to improve their sexual well-being. Nagoski believes that sexuality is an essential part of human health and happiness, and that everyone deserves access to accurate and empowering information about their bodies and desires.
In “Come as You Are,” Nagoski draws on her extensive knowledge and experience as a sex educator and researcher to provide readers with evidence-based advice and exercises for developing a positive and healthy relationship with their own sexuality. Nagoski’s approach is grounded in the latest scientific research on human sexuality, and emphasizes the importance of self-compassion, communication, and self-awareness in promoting sexual wellness.
Overall, Nagoski’s philosophy behind writing “Come as You Are” is to help readers overcome shame, misinformation, and cultural barriers to sexual wellness, and to promote greater awareness and understanding of human sexuality as a positive and essential aspect of human health and happiness.

“Come as You Are” is an important book for a wide range of readers, including parents, youth, sex educators, and sex psychologists, for several reasons:
- Provides Accurate and Up-to-Date Information: “Come as You Are” is grounded in the latest scientific research on human sexuality, making it a valuable resource for anyone seeking accurate and up-to-date information about sexual health and wellness. The book covers a wide range of topics related to human sexuality, including sexual desire, arousal, and orgasm, as well as the impact of stress, trauma, and other factors on sexual well-being.
- Promotes Sex Positivity: One of the key messages of “Come as You Are” is the importance of sex positivity, or the idea that sexuality is a normal and healthy part of human experience. The book encourages readers to embrace their own desires and explore their sexuality in a safe and empowering way, without shame or judgment.
- Helps Overcome Misinformation and Cultural Barriers: “Come as You Are” also addresses common myths and misconceptions about human sexuality, and helps readers overcome cultural barriers to sexual wellness. The book encourages readers to challenge harmful stereotypes and societal expectations, and to embrace a more open and inclusive understanding of human sexuality.
- Provides Practical Advice and Exercises: Finally, “Come as You Are” offers practical advice and exercises for improving sexual well-being, including tips for developing self-compassion, communicating with partners, and exploring desires in a safe and healthy way. The book is a valuable resource for anyone seeking to improve their own sexual health and wellness, or to support others in doing so.
Overall, “Come as You Are” is an important book that promotes greater awareness and understanding of human sexuality, and provides readers with the knowledge and tools they need to improve their sexual well-being.
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